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Cattle Guards


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... You will love this one, I haven't stop laughing yet.

For those of you who have never traveled to the west, or southwest, cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings, in dug-out places in the roads adjacent to highways (sometimes across highways), to prevent cattle from crossing over that area. For some reason the cattle will not step on the "guards," probably because they fear getting their feet caught between the rails. A few months ago, President Obama received and was reading a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado . The Colorado ranchers had protested his proposed changes in grazing policies, so he ordered the Secretary of the Interior to fire half of the "cattle" guards immediately! Before the Secretary of the Interior could respond and presumably try to straighten President Obama out on the matter, Vice-President Joe Biden, intervened with a request that...before any "cattle" guards were fired, they be given six months of retraining. 'Times are hard,' said Joe Biden, 'it's only fair to the cattle guards and their families be given six months of retraining! ' And these two guys are running our country, Passed on to you without further comment... I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING - - - - OH LORD HELP US!!!!

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  • 3 weeks later...

The funny thing something similar happened to me 3 years ago.

I worked for a hedgefund/wealth manager who bought a ranch in Northern California, when time got to expand it, we found another property close by; this guy being a believer in solid numerical and financial analysis for decision making, tackled me with the creation of budgets for Capital expenditures and operative expenditures. It was a tough month of working in a ranch during the day and working in the office during afternoons, but we presented budgets, production forecasts and all that.

Well, this got analyzed by an accounting buffet in the East Coast. And we had a meeting; in the meeting, (in Northern California, summertime, where temperatures can reach 95 F+) a three piece suited accountant, after my exposition of the validity of purchasing more land, calls on me expressing his doubts about the validity of my numbers, since he found a big mistake that raised big red flags.

Me, being a person always looking to better myself, and wanting to learn from my mistake/error/lack of attention, asked what shortcomings I had in my budgets. With a big smirk on his face, he says "I reviewed your CAPEX and operational budget, and unfortunately you left outside from your analyses, a big chunk of money belonging to salaries and benefits to employees" I went 100 mph over my head trying to figure out who I wasn't paying, when this guys says "From the 32 cattle guards you have scheduled to get for the new ranch, I haven't found a single penny for salaries for said guards!"

Imagine my relief to hear this, and the satisfaction to show an engineered design of a cattle guard!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Unfortunately after he was named CFO of the company I got fired!

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